NovaZeph :: Out of Order ::

Well, hello! Here I am again. It’s
been months since I last posted a new entry here. Lots of things have been
going on for the past few months. Went for NS (yea it was fun!), being a
jobless sloth at home for almost 5 months, got my driver’s license (yayy! I can
actually handle a moving vehicle!) and… go to college – my application for the
JPA scholarship was successful (alhamdulillah :D) so I’m currently doing my
A-Levels at Kolej Teknologi Timur, Sepang for 18 months before I can do
medicine in India. Sigh. A long way to go. Long long way. Long long long long
way. Long long long long long long…- sheesshh what am I crapping about?? Oh,
pardon me dear friends. My brain is losing its sense.

The mid-semester examination week
had just ended - 4 torturing, excruciatingly painful, tough days, dedicated for
all 4 papers. Day 1, biology 9 – 10 am. Day 2, chemistry 9 – 10 am. Day 3,
mathematics 9 – 10 am. Day 4, physics 9 – 10 am. Get what I mean? Tormenting,
huh? Frankly speaking, I’m not hoping much of getting really good results for
this particular exam. Why? Because, 1) this is my first exam for my A-Level, 2)
the questions are damn hard, 3) the overall mark is 50, so do the math – every
1 mark is multiplied by 2 to make the final mark 100!!, and 4) I’ll only get a
nice shiny A if my marks is 90 or above, which, to my humble opinion, is
impossible!

Oh well. Forget about the miserable
exams, shall we? Life at KTT isn’t so bad. The place is small, yes, quiet, yes
(except for the noise from airplanes heading to, or departing from, KLIA
nearby) Some people get to stay in the apartments ‘on-campus’ while some, like
me, get to stay in a double-storey house ‘off-campus’ with 9 others. Yeah. A
double-storey house. With 10 people living in it! Have to walk to college everyday
under the merciless scorching sun – there goes my precious 5 minutes! My
housemates are exceptionally nice, kind, cool people. The house of No. 8 Taman Kenanga is definitely not a house
of bookish geeks. We do have fun, listen to music, dance hyperactively, invent
new weird expressions, laugh out loud during dinner, talk excitedly about
girls’ stuff … and yet when the time for exam comes, we study together. Ah yes,
maybe I should introduce my housemates first. Ok, let’s start with the Ketua
Rumah, Rafika, Penolong Ketua Rumah, Fatin (my classmate!), Secretaries,
Farah/Hanum and Mayoo/Mai (she wants her name spelt as ‘Mye’, haha sorry dear,
I’ll stick to ‘Mai’ mbwahahahaa :p), Treasurer, Fasyi, AJK Kebersihan, TQ and
Nadia ( weyhh nadia, habis cuti ni kita sambung gaduh ek hahahaha), and the AJK
Keceriaan are Fareha/Pe’ah and Huda (cerialah sangat rumah tu :P). And me? I
took the ‘fun’ post of  AJK Kebajikan.
What do I do, you ask? Here – I’ll visit those in the house who are feeling
unwell, ask them: "Sakit ke? Dah makan ubat? Nak pergi klinik tak? Meh la
kita temankan awak kat rumah", making sure everyone in the house is okay
and safe (tukang halau stray cats yang selalu datang rumah – Rafika, stop
feeding them! hahaha) - everything is supposedly to be fine under my watch. I’m
in the master bedroom along with 4 others – Fareha, Farah, Huda and Nadia. Another
2 rooms are shared by 2 people each and a small room downstairs is occupied
singly by the brave Fatin. Next door is the Diploma students – noisy and…. um, and
um,….um, and…uh, well, you get the picture…

As for class, well, I’m in ALL 11
(ALL stands for A-Level Lower) VERY ‘well-organised’ class timetable (given by
the admin dept) – totally packed with classes on Monday (8 am to 6 pm, with
one-hour break in the morning and another one hour in the afternoon), a really
relaxing Tuesday (classes start at 11 am, then a four-hour break before having
another 2 classes in the evening till 6 pm), Wednesday is a rather relaxing day
for ALL 11 too, Thursday is a little packed and Friday is a nice relaxing day
(classes start at 9 am, then a five-hour break and another 2 classes 3 – 5 pm)
Timetables for all ALLs vary.

There. My life at KTT. It’s fine, I
guess. I met new people, made new friends, learnt new things. Most of my
friends there call me Hami – Hamidah is just too long. I’ve been asked once
whether I have a shorter name *rolls eyes* Fine, just call me Hami then
– my friends during high school invented that name – I was inclined to hate it
hahaha. Some plainly spell it as ‘Hami’, derived from my original name
spelling, but now I’m used to people spelling my name sesuka hati diaorang je –
hammy, hamie, hamee, or worse, hummy (sounds like hummy the dummy hahahaha)

Well, it’s holidays now. I’ll be
missing No. 8 Taman Kenanga and KTT (makes a barfing sound upon mentioning the
college), for not being there for a week. I’ve got homework! And exam results
to worry about! I’ve got to do revision again! – or I’ll simply lose my
scholarship for flunking every exam and blow my chance of doing medicine in
India (no dear, I don’t want this to happen, so stop ill-wishing!) Haha. I’m
merely babbling – it’s the flu talking, mind you.

Roger n’ out.

- Hamidah -

Hey. Today is Thursday. 3 more days until I’m off to Rompin for NS. Great. Should I be excited? Or should I grieve instead? I’m not sure what to feel, what to think and what to do. Whatever it is, I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe I’ll enjoy myself when I get there (yeah, maybe I’ll have fun. who knows? :D)….or maybe I won’t.   *shrugs*   Farhana and Mukminah said NS was fun. But I dunno… It better be fun because I’ve to sacrifice my fav shows on tv and abandon my Friendster account (hey, I need to keep in touch with my friends :D) just to obey the stupid ‘panggilan mengikuti Program Latihan Khidmat Negara’ – as it says in the letter – ‘tahniah anda the terpilih….’ Tahniah?? What the—–??!!!! I’m a good citizen and yet they picked me to go for this damn training!! Why???? Why, oh why???? Of all people, why me??? blerrgghhhh

*sighs*

Fine then. I’ll be in Pahang for about 3 months. So I guess I need to say goodbye to my friends out there. We may not get to see each other anymore after this. My apologies for whatever I’ve done to anybody, anything that has hurt anyone’s feelings in any way – I never meant those things for real. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m saying this, but it’s just this voice that keeps reverberating in my head, telling me to apologize and bid everyone goodbye. This isn’t a suicide note, mind you. This is a goodbye to the wonderful people I’ve known throughout my life. It has been a great pleasure knowing all of you. Take good care of yourself and be happy always! And to my best friends, I love you guys so much!!!! I love y’all!!

Bye bye…

Farewell,

Hamidah

Unexpected. Oh yes~ very unexpected. I passed my ujian teori berkomputer - the damn driving test. Yesterday, Feb 12. Got 50/50!!! Oh my…….. didn’t expect that hahaha!! Really. But hey, yayyyyyyy me~!!!!! :D  Now I’m free from being tortured by the KPP book. Will be having my kursus asas this Thursday. Gotta rush everything  since I’ll be going for NS next month, so……yeah dun have much time.

Hmmmm…..having taekwondo lessons with dad every evening is tiring. It’s actually good haha - can lose some weight and work some muscle - although I prefer dancing than taekwondo. Oh yeah, I’m learning to do proper moonwalk too! Gettin’ there…. nice~!

Smile while you still can.

*~ Hamidah ~*

I found myself staring at the sky tonight. And finally, to my relief, I could see the stars blinking cheerfully again. I’ve been staring at dark sky for nights now, it was starless, until tonight. Yeah, tonight the sky wasn’t lonely anymore. I had to climb over the balcony of my house to get onto the top of the roof, just to get a good view of the sky. I lied down on the roof, yes, on the ROOF, honey! ahahaha…started to climb the roof a week ago and you can find me lying there every night looking out the ‘Bay of Naples’ (like in Somerset Maugham’s The Lotus Eater - Selected Short Stories and Poems Form 4) A good spot to find some peaceful moments for myself and forget about all the problems. Wonderful.

The dark sky wasn’t so dark after all. The twinkling stars and the smiling full moon were there to keep me company. The cool night breeze was soothing. Again, wonderful. I love the roof! Sang Marc Anthony’s My Baby You - my voice was terrible but I enjoyed it. Really, it was peaceful. Lying under the night sky, facing east, I could see three stars formed a perfect triangle. Could see other shapes too. Loved it.
Glad the sky isn’t starless tonight.

Thank you stars, and thank you moon. I wish you could be my friends every night but as others, I know you will eventually leave me. Promise me you’ll visit me someday, okay?

I’m gonna remember this wonderful moment.  *tears*

Bonjour! Ah,
finally I’ve got the time to spend my energy on typing this. Yes yes, I know
it’s a little late to talk about what happened last Saturday, but I just wanna
type it down so that I won’t forget it – I’m forgetful anyway hahaha~

Okay. Last
Saturday, 27/1/2007 I had my ceramah KPP at Imkeda, Keramat. Woke up around 7
am. I didn’t want to get ready so early but had to, since Mum and Dad wouldn’t
tolerate my slacking habit hehe… About 7.40, Dad drove me to a driving school
in Desa Pandan and then someone there would take me to the ceramah in Keramat.
I wanted to grab some biscuits for quick breakfast, but Mum and Dad, the
paragons of punctuality and discipline were so busy hurrying me up into the car
that I had to forget having something to eat for the next 6 hours. Sorry,
tummy.

Arrived at Desa
Pandan around 8 o’clock and waited at the driving school. I was the earliest
one to arrive there. At 8.30 am, a pak cik from that driving school drove the nine
of us to Keramat on his Toyota Unser – there was only one guy among us and
judging from his looks, I was certain that he had just left school, like me.
Umm… then the pak cik dropped the other seven at this place, not sure what
place, for their ujian komputer. Well, I guess they had attended the 5 hour
ceramah KPP. So there were only 3 people left – me, that guy and the pak cik
who was driving the car. Around 9 o’clock, we arrived at Imkeda and the pak
cik reminded us to call him when the ceramah was over so that he could pick us
up back to Desa Pandan. After I got down from the car and the pak cik had drove
away, the guy extended his hand and introduced himself, " Hai, saya
Kamal," Oh, hi Kamal! haha. "Hamidah," I said, shaking his hand. Then he smiled. Whatever.
I smiled back, just to be friendly *winks* and walked straight to the counter
before queueing up to submit my personal details forms, IC and the smart card (for
thumbprint and other details)

The ceramah
started at 9.30 am. Kinda boring. Couldn’t stop yawning and almost fell asleep
haha~ went to the toilet once. There wasn’t any basin in the toilet, let alone
any mirror. Good thing I brought my own compact mirror in my shoulder-bag. The
ceramah ended at 2.30 but we had to wait for our ICs to be returned to us. I
chatted with the girl who sat next to me. She was from CBN and like me, is
waiting for her SPM results. Then the guy who was in charge of returning the
ICs called my name, I took my IC, signed the attendance sheet and left. Lined
up at the counter again for thumbprint. I called the pak cik to pick us up and
informed Mum that the ceramah had ended. After that I waited outside the Imkeda
office for the pak cik. My empty stomach was killing me! I was so hungry –
there was an orchestra performing in my tummy (or worse…)  Kamal told me he would be taking a cab home
and asked me to inform the pak cik. Fine, just go home. That’s none of my
business hahaha~ The pak cik arrived 15 minutes later – traffic jam, he
said. I chatted with the pak cik on the way back to Desa Pandan and he was a
nice person to chat with. Old men are usually wise. Wisdom grows with age,
right? We arrived at the driving school around 3.45 pm. Waited for Dad for
another 10 minutes under the scorching sun, chewing Mentos I bought earlier
from a grocery store nearby.

Arrived home at
about 4.30, showered and had ‘lunch’. Played with my little cousins, Iman and
Ain. Watched Disney Channel – Hannah Montana, American Dragon, The Emperor’s
New School, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody… and…The Cheetah Girls 2!!! Love
the songs and the choreography. Ah, Joaquin….hehehe. After that, watched War of
the Worlds. *Winks at Tom Cruise* Ooopsss sorry Katie. Hahahaha~ Dakota Fanning
couldn’t stop screaming, but she’s a good actress though. Good job, Spielberg! Surfed the Net, replied some emails,
downloaded some songs from Ares and went to bed early. What a tiring day it
was!

Now that’s what
happened on Jan 27.

Adios!

*~ Hamidah ~*

Yes. I had quite a
great time yesterday. Okay. Let’s start with the time I woke up (this is one of
the biggest issues in my life hahahaha). Woke up at about 6.45
am and with bleary eyes, dashed off for solat Subuh. After that I thought of
taking a bath but decided to rest myself on the bed for a while since I was
still feeling sleepy. Hahaha, guess what? I fell asleep for the next 2 1/2
hours!! After some lazy stretching, I sprang out of bed at 9.15 and staggered
to the bathroom. Yeah yeah I know I don’t usually up this early, but things
have changed. I’m changing. This is a good start, I don’t want to be a sloth
anymore who wakes up at 1
pm everyday and watches tv for hours after being absolutely bloated at lunch. Dad
just came home from Saudi Arabia (he works there) last
Monday and he’ll be here for about 40 days before returning back to Taif. Hey
hey~ he bought me a laptop – my very first laptop Acer TravelMate *grins
gleefully* And oh yeah, he bought me some clothes too, sweaters, jeans and
denim jackets *grins again* Since dad will be here for the next 40 days, I’ll
have to be a real human – a responsible teenager. And I’m ready to change;
revolution is something that I desperately need. I’m not pretending to be
perfect though, and not trying to be one because nobody is.

Okay. Now stop
being all philosophic. Back to Jan 17. After taking a bath, I … -  now I
shall not go to the details because what I do after shower, other people do it
too, so there’s no need to mention it here hahaha. At about 10.30
am,
Mum asked me to help dressing up Alya and Iman while she prepared lunch. Alya,
my pest sister and Iman, Mak Ngah’s son are both 3 years old and they’ve
started going to school. So I dressed ‘em up with their adorable uniforms
(adorable, yes for the uniforms, no for those brats hahahaha) But they looked
cute anyway :P. Mum sent them to school before she drove off to work for her
evening shift at the hospital. When they were all gone and the house was at the
most peaceful state, I read the newspapers – The Star and Utusan Malaysia – to know what was going on
the outside world (although none of my concern). At 1.15
pm Ira went home from school and started complaining about her piles of homework (hahaha, being in form 4 is no piece of cake, dear) Then I had lunch. 2.30
pm,
watched those stupid Bawangs (just curious about how stupidity will finally
win) and La Mujer En El Espejo (poor Juliana, Marcos have made a huge
mistake!!) Surfed the Net after that (what else?)

After
solat Maghrib, Dad asked me to baca Al Quran, and I felt peaceful after that. After solat Isya’ Dad wanted me to prepare dinner since Mum wasn’t home yet.
Whatt??? You want me to cook? No no no~ This is so unexpected. "I’ll
teach you how to make tomyam. You can’t study overseas if you can’t cook,"
Ok fine. Enlighten me, Dad. It was kinda late for dinner, though but I
just followed the orders. Aye aye, capt’n!  So I prepared the ingredients
as what he ordered me to - Dad’s own tomyam recipe was unnecessarily
complicated but I still wanted to learn. Ira didn’t help us in the kitchen –
was busy doing her miserable homework hahaha. Amir helped, since he’s a
busybody and Adam wandered around the kitchen making fun of me (hahaha they all
know I cook very very very seldomly) Dad was my cooking instructor – he watched
closely as I chopped the carrots and I think he shook his head silently when I
chopped the onions hahahahaha. I tasted the soup a little and remarked that
more salt was needed. Salt! Carrots! Meatballs! A little more salt! And Mum
arrived home around 10. (Yeah, the tomyam tak siap siap lagi, I took a long
time washing the vegetables to make sure it was safe to be eaten) "Looks
like we have a new chef today!" teased Mum.

Finally, 15
minutes past 10 the tomyam was ready to be served. Crazy, huh, dinner at 10 but
at least I enjoyed cooking with Dad. So I served Mum and Dad the tomyam at the
dining table, enjoyed the meal and did the dishes. Not bad. The tomyam was
actually good hahahahaha!! Then I shuffled to my room and surfed the Net again,
downloaded Google Desktop for my laptop hehe… but later uninstalled it because
it wasn’t really useful for me.

Well, now it’s Thursday.
Actually I had to go somewhere today but there was a sudden change of plan.
I’ll have to balik kampung this Saturday – in Johor. Yeah it’s true that Johor
has been hit by floods, but my kampung is safe. Just hope the third wave won’t
occur or else I won’t get to come back to KL. Registered for my driving lessons
this evening, which I decided to attend next Tuesday. Oh yeah, I have to read
two books now – the KPP book and ‘Introduction to Human Physiology’ by Mary
Griffiths (Dad’s old book – he said I must learn the basics if I want to do
medicine) Thick book, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy it! (I hope…) hehe

Ok, bye!

I’m bored of saying how bored I am!  *sigh*  Hhhmmm let me see…wake
up at 1 pm, watch tv, surf the Net, chat with some people, eat
something, read something, and sleep…- welcome to my dull life. Repeating the
same routine… over and over and over again… round and round it
goes… everyday’s the one before… lalalalaaaaa…~~

Oh well, maybe I should say something interesting - and sure enough, my
life isn’t fun at all. Went to The Star Education Fair at
Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre last Sunday . To collect some brochures and ask
around…

Okay. To start with, I woke up at 12.30 pm. I’m getting worse everyday!
12.30 pm?? Gosh~ I’m a sloth all right! I decided to put on something
comfortable, wasn’t in the mood to thinking much about my apprearance.
So I just donned a collared red top matched with a pair of black long pants
and tied my hair into a ponytail.

Arrived there around 3 o’ clock with Mum, Ira and my annoying
three-year-old sister Alya. After following the signs, we headed to the
exhibition halls. On the way to Hall 5, I heard a family of five
chatting behind me :

       " I should’ve parked the car there!"
       " You didn’t follow the sign! I told you the exhibition halls are here!"
       " We’ve almost got lost, you know. This place is huge,"
       " Haiyaa, enough already! We’re in the right place now,"  Wise father.
Well, it’s okay to get lost sometimes, in fact, I do it all the time hahahahaa.

So we started walking around, visiting one booth after another,
collecting brochures. Dad wanted me to find more info on medicine
course so that when he comes back from Saudi Arabia we can discuss my
options for plan B in case I don’t get any offer for the government
matriculation and UPU. Bought doctorjob’s latest CoursesNOW! Health & Sciences. Alya started to throw her tantrums, complaining
how tired she was *rolls eyes* (hey, she shouldn’t have been here in the first
place!) She wanted a balloon (can you believe this brat?? spoilt!)
so mum got her one from MAHSA’s booth. And then she grinned gleefully
like an evil slug that I felt like punching her in the face and mashing
her up! What a pest! If only I could kill her with a pesticide…
muahahaha~ My head was pounding and it was then that I realized I
haven’t eaten a
single thing since I woke up that noon! Felt like someone was hammering
inside
my skull. I kept walking. We bought The Star from the information
counter and there was a section - StarSpecial - for the edu fair.

Then we went to the next hall - Hall 4. I filled in some forms, asked
about pre-U programmes and other options for doing a medical degree,
and collected more brochures happily…..until Alya said she wanted to
go to the toilet! Goodness! The only purpose we decided to go the fair
was to find out about my tertiary education, not to pay a visit to the
toilet! Alya was really getting on my nerves and I almost slapped her
in the face. She’s only three and what’s she doing here??  I fumed quietly. So mum got her to the toilet and when she’d finished, again she had that smugly grin on her face! Bummer.

Fine. I decided to ignore that little pest. We moved on to Hall 2.
Walked around… blablabla until I sensed a wave of nausea and my
headache was getting worse. Felt like my left eye was about to pop out from its socket. I decided to ignore it. Many people get headaches all the time. It
was almost 5 pm. Breathless and tired, I checked the exhibitors list from
StarSpecial Mum had bought earlier for any booth that we’d missed. Oh
there was one. AIMST. Hall 4. " Okay, Hall 4 it is. Let’s get moving,"
Mum said and strode ahead. I was walking out the entrance of Hall 2,
still re-checking the list on the newspaper when I bumped into someone
familiar. I stared at that person before me, stunned and surprised. I
glanced back into the hall which I had just came from. Okay, I’m at the damn edu fair. Not dreaming. Wait. I know this girl. My
head was pounding excruciatingly. I think I stared at her with my mouth open hahahaa.
My head was aching that I had a hard time recognizing her. It was then
that my memory came into view. Oh, it was Aain! Good gracious! I wasn’t
expecting to see anyone I knew at the fair and hell yeah, I was
surprised. "Oh, hi!" I blurted out. Then I saw Aliaa and their mother.
The next thing was a blur and I had no idea what I said to them. LoL!
Three seconds later I found myself walking down the hall with Mum and
Ira, while Alya singing annoyingly, dedicating a song to her stupid balloon. With my head felt like it was
gonna explode, I was so frustrated for having to refrain myself from
smacking Alya on the wall and throwing her outside through the glass
windows, leaving her screaming all the way down bidding the world
goodbye. I was peeved!  hahahahaha So we went to Hall 4 again, visited
that damn booth and headed home. I was so tired. Then I had my 6 o’ clock lunch and ate an ice cream. Slept at 4 am that night (couldn’t sleep). The end.

Okkaayyy. Now back to my dull life. I’m tired now. Damn tired. Dunno
why. Just tired. Need to sleep now and prepare for tomorrow and the day
after that and the day after that and the day after that….

Bye.

Halfway to death,
*~ Hamidah ~*

I’m bored. Damn bored. The Net is quite slow and I’m struggling to get on MSN Messenger. Not to mention websites and chatrooms. Thanks to the earthquake - hey, I’m not blaming the natural disaster, okay, just frustrated. And Mum took away the Astro smart card!! I can’t watch tv now because my brothers are too lazy to study (morons~!!! I hate them) *smacks head*  Can’t watch tv!! What’s life all about without tv??!!! Aaarrggghhh~~!!! ppssssttt … I think Mum’s trying to kill me silently - by taking away the most important thing that keeps me alive (but pls, don’t tell my Mum i said this, okay? promise!)  hahaha I’m losing my head. Really.

School starts tomorrow. Me?  I’m stuck at home. Without tv. Left alone with only a slow internet connection and a pair of socks. Great. *crying in the corner*

Please, anyone. Help! Please help my wretched soul!! I’m begging you. Have mercy!! Warrghh helppp!!! 

(note : please ignore me)

— laughing all the way to the graveyard —

Goodbye 2006! Hello 2007! I
don’t know what to say. Really. Time seems to pass so quickly. I’ve had so much
fun this year - can’t and won’t forget those bitter-sweet memories and events,
my most precious treasure.

Early this year
I was so nervous to be a fifth former - ‘BEWARE! SPM ahead! Prepare to
suffer!!’ hahaha. I was over the moon to be in 5 Alpha with my wonderful friends and
got to sit together with ‘em, cracking jokes and having good laughs. Intense
cramming for exams, finishing (and procrastinating) school projects and tons of merciless homework, attending stupid
co-curricular meetings, missing nights of good sleep, worrying, worrying, worrying… - Gosh, I really miss those
days!! (I know this is insane, bear with me! haha) 

I’m glad I
managed to survive those stressful, painful moments that made me think like I
had no chance of making things better for myself. And I have to admit right now
that I lost myself for a while in the middle of the year. It was May, I think,
when we had our mid-term exam - ujian diagnostik. Everything was fine until I finally
cracked up. I couldn’t give my best in that particular exam because half of my
conscious mind was gone. I was mad not because the mid-term results weren’t
like what I’d expected, but I was mad because I failed to pull myself together.
It was so depressing. I went under my study desk that night, sat there and
cried for hours, frustrated and furious.
Out of the blue, after months of disappearance, Carol came. She’s one of my
imaginary friends (the other one is Aiken) and I didn’t know why she suddenly
visited me then - but she had came on the right time. Carol told me I should
calm down and stop crying. She said I must find myself or else I won’t get the
chance to accomplish my dreams. I knew Carol was right. The only person who
could help me was the girl in the mirror - the only girl that listened to me
and understood my feelings. I knew the other part of Hamidah was hiding
somewhere and I had to find her quickly. Carol said I must regain my strength
and consciousness, and I mustn’t give up. Then she smiled at me and disappeared
into the darkness of my room.
All of a sudden, I realized I should begin the quest of finding ‘the whole me’.
So that night, I started my own therapy (talking to myself) and was soooo happy
to find Hamidah looking back at me in the mirror an hour later. I had found
myself!! With watery eyes, the girl in the mirror told me that she’ll never
leave me again, never. I apologized to her and promised I’ll never let her go
ever again. Again and again I repeated my pledge. I determined to get my
priorities right, do my best in every exam and avoid doing the same mistake. So
that’s how I got myself back. Until now, I never lose myself anymore and I feel like there’s only ONE soul living inside me .

(note : if
you seriously think I have mental problems, please let me know because I
honestly think I’m normal haha)

I know you must be thinking
I’m crazy. Well, it’s true. I did lose myself once and I’ll never let it happen
again because the part when I couldn’t find the other half of me was the
toughest time. Hahaha sheesh, stop being so sentimental! Well, what I was
trying to say is that I’ll never forget that moment - it’s so important as a
reminder that I won’t be able to get things right if I don’t fix myself first.
I hope no one will do the same mistake like I did. Never let go of yourself and
everything will be just fine (even though when you know you’re not OK).

Throughout the year, I’ve
enjoyed my time in SBU and I’m glad I didn’t waste my last year in high school.
I’m happy and grateful with everything I’ve achieved. Thanks to all of my friends,
my classmates, my form-mates, my tuition-mates, teachers and whoever that gave
me a smile even when we bumped into each other in the toilet. Special thanks to
Aliaa, Izyan and Aain, you guys are the best!! Muah muah~!  *laughs madly*

Oh yeah, about SPM. I don’t
want to talk about it. Just hope the results will be like what I’ve always
dreamed of. I really hope so. Looking back, I can’t believe I’ve been through
12 years of schooling, including preschool. haha I’m getting older. I’ve met great
people, made great friends and gained so much useful experience. Hope 2007 will
bring me more fortune and happiness until my eyes pop out hahaha.

 I’m
wondering if I should start serious blogging because I don’t think I’ve written
anything useful here – just babbling around hehe… Well, to end my boring
babble, I want to wish everyone a ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’ and may 2007 bring
you a blissful life. Tata~!

– Memories last forever –

*~ Hamidah ~*

My mood today : quite happy.

Woke up at 12 p.m. sharp - not a good start coz I planned the night before to wake up BEFORE 11.30. Haha I just can’t wake up early…what a shame. Too bad the invention of alarm clocks can’t help me. LoL.

Then I had breakfast and watched tv (as usual). Watched Bawang Merah Bawang Putih (both the Bawangs are stupid and they should die immediately!!) and later La Mujer En El Espejo (ah, Marcos and Juliana are getting back together - based on my assumption haha) After that Mum asked me to help her in the kitchen. And for the first time this year I helped Mum peeling onions - now these are REAL bawangs and are not as idiotic as Bawang Putih coz we can eat ‘em and avoid cancer (or keep the vampires away?? haha). To be frank, I had quite a great time in the kitchen since Mum was overjoyed that Ira got 8As in her PMR - yeah, the PMR results were announced today. *rolls eyes*   So there I was in the kitchen peeling onions - I peeled bawang putih the bawang (I hate Bawang Putih the orang - I just despise the show!!) while Ira peeled bawang merah. Then Mak Ngah came over with her lovely kids Iman and Ain - played with ‘em and had another wonderful time.

I guess the only reason for me being happy is peeling onions and garlics in the kitchen hahahaha. I was glad to help Mum since she’s been complaning how ‘helpful’ I’ve been during the holidays.

Mum bought KFC for dinner. Then I watched The Amazing Race Asia while eating a bar of Cadbury chocolate and Cheezy wedges. Glad Zabrina and Joe Jer didn’t get eliminated - I’ll cry if they do. Sandy and Francesca came in 3rd - good team, eh? Those two are the only teams I support this time hehe.

Well, that’s all for now. I wanted to write more but just not in the mood of doing so.  Bye.